Rev. Ted Haggard, married to a woman and raising 5 children, allegedly has been involved in a sexual relationship with a man, which included use of methamphetamines. This is the same Ted Haggard who was one of the strongest opponents of same gender marriage. (I guess it's okay to "date" but not marry someone of the same gender.) Haggard, of course, initially denied the accusations until he heard some of the voice mails he left on his "friend's" phone. Then Haggard said he knew him but only bought "meth" from him once and never used it and absolutely did not have sex with the man. And now, Haggard is admitting to "sexually immoral conduct" with the caveat that not everything this "friend" said was true.

           Many things strike me as interesting regarding this whole story. I think it's interesting that Haggard would prefer us to believe he does drugs instead of he's gay. What a very sad commentary. Haggard also appears to be leaning on the fact that he would not have had sex with a man had it not been for the meth. Another sad commentary.

           Haggard was removed as the head of his church and resigned his position on the Evangelical Association. Haggard is not unlike many of us. He calls himself a "liar and deceiver." Been there and done that. The point is, we lie and deceive ourselves long before we start lying and deceiving others. We may never know how long Haggard has been struggling with who he is, although he does say he's been struggling with this "darkness" inside of him much of his life. When it comes to the struggle, welcome to the world of the GLBT community Ted, when it comes to calling it "darkness," you need to start accepting yourself as the Light that God created. Living a lie is dark, admitting who you are is what brings forth light to dispel the darkness .

           I can now understand more fully why Haggard was so strongly opposed to gay marriage. It's because he was strongly in opposition to himself. I've always been one to question whether it's because someone has his/her own orientation struggle going on inside that causes them to be so opposed to the GLBT community. In Haggard's case, this certainly appears to be the point. This is why it is so important for all of us to stop deceiving ourselves. It will catch up with us.

           Living as someone other than who you truly are is not healthy. It eats away at our emotional health. It eats away at our character. It eats away at our soul. It makes sense to me that Haggard would want others to feel his pain and would therefore perpetuate that pain onto others. People who are in pain typically want those around them to be in pain as well. People who have to hide their true selves typically want everyone to have to hide themselves as well. Misery loves company as they say.

           If we learn nothing else from the fall of one of the nation's most powerful men, we must learn that living a life of truth is the only way to achieve wholeness, peace and love. Isn't it time that we stop fooling ourselves and stop fooling each other? It is only through the revelation of living our truth will we be able to make it safely through this life without destroying ourselves and those around us. Take a step out today and live your truth. You will make your world and the world around you a better place if you do.